Happy Holidays! Warren Laine-Naida



A Very Digital Christmas

‘Twas but days before Christmas, and all through Home Office,
My colleagues were working, in pants, none could notice.
Our Youtube videos were crafted with care,
In hopes that new clients soon would be there.

Marketers were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of email drips danced in their dreams.
eCommerce students in kitchens, carrying in snacks,
I had just settled down, my latest book to unpack.

When out from the server there arose such a clatter,
I jumped onto Zoom to see what was the matter.
To the screen my fingers they flew like a flash,
My connection blipped and it shook, it started to crash!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned to my laptop and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A 20% delivery deal on pizza – and beer!

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than updates, those pixels they came,
He looked out from my screen, and put me to shame;

“Now you there! Yes, you!”, my speaker did squeal;
“Get working! Download me!” He called out his appeal.
“Jump onto your keyboard, let go of that cup!
There’ll be coffee for all when the campaign is up!”

The screen gave a flicker, I feared some new spam,
Then into the classroom rose an AR hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his toes,
Which were black like the hairs which sprung from his nose.

He pulled out the flash drives he had stored in his sack,
Santa looked like a hacker, just raring to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His cheeks, they did glow!
He pulled off his gloves, and was ready to go!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave his phone a quick poke,
Then mirrored our servers with only a stroke!

He defragged the hard drives, he added a Vim,
Then threw in a podcast, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew,
Upgrading our WordPress as only he knew!

He updated our chatbots, installed Grammarly,
He configured my Canva, Traackr, and SWAY!
My eyes widened a bit, he had not a scruple,
He auto-Updated my Joomla and Drupal!

The drives gave a whirl as if they were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, then let out a great sneeze.
Wiping the snuff from the end of his nose,
In a wink, he became pixels and fell at my toes.

He flew back in the screen, zoosh! white, red, and green,
Back up to the cloud, until the next update routine.
But I heard him exclaim as he passed from my sight,
“Happy @Home to all, and to all, a good night!”

A Visit from St. Nicholas BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE