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A Very Digital Christmas or, A Visit From Ms Claus

    Last Updated on May 22, 2023

    A Very Digital Christmas

    ‘Twas but days before Christmas, and all through the classroom,
    Students tweaked projects, as I looked on, via Zoom.
    Their WordPress themes were crafted with great care,
    In hopes that good grades soon would be there.

    Mascots and coffee cups were nestled snug by their screens,
    While SEO visions danced in their dreams.
    Some of my students carried in snacks,
    And I had just settled down another protein bar to unpack.

    When out from the metaverse there arose such a clatter,
    I logged out of Zoom to see what was the matter.
    To my other laptop my fingers they flew like a flash,
    My connection blipped and it shook, the WiFi started to crash!

    I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
    Then stared at my screen and clicked on my mouse.
    When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
    A half-price offer from Adobe – with Elements for Premiere!!

    Then the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
    Red, green and black, I knew it must be St. Nick!
    More rapid than WordPress updates, those pixels they came,
    She looked out from my screen, and put me to shame;

    “Now you there! Yes, you!”, my speakers did squeal;
    “Get working! Download me!” She called out her appeal.
    “Jump onto your keyboard, let go of that mouse!
    Accessibility trumps design, don’t you know that, you louse?”

    The screen gave a flicker, I feared some new spam,
    Then into my home office rose a VR hologram!
    She was dressed in all in red, from her head to her toes,
    Boots of black patent leather, tucked over her hose.

    She pulled out the flash drives she had stored in her sack,
    Santa looked like a hacker, just raring to hack!
    Her eyes, how they twinkled! Her cheeks, they did glow!
    She pulled off her gloves, and was ready to go!

    With a wink of her eye and a nod of her head,
    Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
    She spoke not a word, gave her phone a quick poke,
    Patched our Log4j flaws with only a stroke!

    She updated the payment gates, humming a hymn,
    Added Ripple and Doge coin, just on a whim!
    She worked without noise, her fingers they flew,
    Upgrading our plugins as only she knew!

    She updated the chatbots, my Typescript and React,
    She configured my Blockchain, both PAM and BooWac!
    My eyes widened a bit, she had not a scruple,
    She then deleted my Joomla and Drupal!!

    The drives gave a whirl as if they were pleased,
    St. Nick coyly smiled, opened the front door to the breeze.
    Wiping some glitter from the end of her nose,
    In a wink, did she turn, as I fell at her toes.

    She laughed, patting my head, and ran out the door,
    To a waiting Über limo, parked by the bio-store.
    But I heard her exclaim as she passed from my sight,
    “Happy Christmas to all, and to all, a good night!”

    Do you like cake? Click here for my family Christmas Fruit Cake recipe. You might still have time to bake it, too! Merry Christmas!

    With apologies to “A Visit from St. Nicholas BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE”

    With thanks for the image from unsplash: