2018/12 A Very Digital Christmas

 

17
December
2018

A Very Digital Christmas

‘Twas but days before Christmas, when all through the office,
Marketing was working, our campaigns were flawless.
Adwords were measured on our tablets with care,
In hopes that our bonuses soon would be there.

Freelancers were nestled all snug by their screens,
While visions of Photoshop danced in their dreams.
My boss on his sofa, and me grabbing snacks,
Had just settled down, budget road maps to unpack.

When from my desk there arose such a clatter,
I jumped to my handy to see what was the matter.
To a browser my fingers they flew like a flash,
My phone blipped and it shook, it started to crash!

I gasped at the thought and started to grouse,
Then turned to my laptop and clicked on the mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
A redirect page that at first was not clear.

When the image resolved, so bright and so quick,
I knew in a moment it must be St. Nick!
More rapid than SBahns, more graphics they came,
He looked out from my screen, and put us to shame;

“Now you there! Yes you!”, my speaker did reel;
“Get working! Get working!” He started to squeal!
“Jump onto your keyboard, let go of that slice!
There’ll be pizza for all when the newsletter looks nice!”

The screen gave a flicker, I feared some new spam,
Then into my office rose a VR hologram!
He was dressed in all red, from his head to his shoes,
Which were black like the hairs which sprung from his nose.

He pulled out the flash drives he had stored in his pack,
The elf looked like a hacker, just raring to hack!
His eyes, how they twinkled! His cheeks, they did glow!
He threw off his gloves, and was ready to go!

With a wink of his eye and a nod of his head,
Santa soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
He spoke not a word, gave my phone a quick poke,
Then mirrored our server with only a stroke!

He defragged the hard drives, he added a Vim,
Then threw in some apps, just on a whim!
He worked without noise, his fingers they flew,
Upgrading our PetShop as only he knew!

He updated our chatbots, installed Visual.lay
He remodeled our SEMrush, Traackr, and SWAY!
My eyes widened a bit, he had not a scruple,
As he then added an auto-Update to the ol’ Drupal!!

The drives gave a whirl as if they were pleased,
St. Nick coyly smiled, then let out a great sneeze.
Wiping the snuff from the end of his nose,
In a wink became pixels and He fell at my toes.

He flew back thru the screen, zoosh! white, red, and pink,
Back through the ethernet with barely a blink.
But I heard him exclaim as he passed from my sight,
“Happy Computing to all, and to all a good night!”

A Visit from St. Nicholas BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43171/a-visit-from-st-nicholas