Last Updated on January 22, 2024
It Knows What You Are Getting for Christmas
‘Twas but hours before Christmas, and all through the office,
I edited a final article; it looked full of promise.
My headlines and keywords were crafted with great care,
In hopes that the client’s payment soon would be there.
Merch from this last year was nestled snug by my screens,
While featured snippet visions danced in my dreams.
I walked to the kitchen to load up on snacks,
Then settled back down, my shopping list to hack.
When out from the server room there arose such a clatter,
I jumped from my chair to see what was the matter.
To the laptop my fingers they flew like a flash,
The WiFi blipped and it shook, the connection started to crash!
I cursed at the thought and started to grouse,
Went back to my desktop and clicked on my mouse.
When what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Free boosts from Bing, for the entire upcoming year!
Then an image resolved, so bright and so quick,
Red, green, blue, yellow; I knew it must be AInt Nick!
More rapid than WordPress updates, those pixels they came,
It looked out from my screen, and put me to shame;
“Now you there! Yes, you Sir!”, my speakers did squeal;
“Get clicking! Install me!” It called out it’s appeal.
“Use your keyboard my man, let go of that mouse!
Not everyone has one, don’t you know that, you louse?”
The screen gave a flicker, I feared some new spam,
Then into my office appeared a 3D hologram!
AInt Nick was dressed all in red, from its head to its toes,
With black leather boots, tucked over its hose.
AInt Nick pulled out some cloud drives it had stored in its pack,
It looked like a hacker, just raring to hack!
Its eyes, how they twinkled! Its cheeks, they did glow!
It pulled off virtual gloves, and was ready to go!
With a wink of its eye and a nod of its head,
AInt Nick soon let me know I had nothing to dread.
It spoke not a word, gave my keyboard a quick poke,
Rewrote all my prompts with only a stroke!
It updated my articles, humming a hymn,
Then added niche keywords, just on a whim!
It worked without noise, virtual fingers they flew,
Upgrading my content as only it knew!
AInt Nick updated my page titles, so my website now shone,
It configured the local pack, so my competitors were gone!
My eyes widened a bit, it had not a scruple,
AInt Nick deleted Amazon – my face went red then purple!!
The drives gave a whirl as if they were pleased,
AInt Nick coyly smiled, then turned off Alexa – with ease!
Wiping some glitter from the end of its nose,
With a wink, started to fade, and for a moment I froze.
I gasped, as AInt Nick vanished, then I ran out the door,
Calling my staff, “I have to get to the store!”
When my phone gave a beep, the screen glowing bright,
Sender AI: “Support local business, Happy Christmas, and good night!”
Do you like cake? Click here for my family Christmas Fruit Cake recipe. You might still have time to bake it, too! Merry Christmas!
With apologies to “A Visit from St. Nicholas BY CLEMENT CLARKE MOORE”
https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/43171/a-visit-from-st-nicholas
Image Content credentials: robot image Generated with AI ∙ December 23, 2023 at 8:53 AM